It’s raining today. And on this gray day, I’m wanting to remember the beautiful things God surrounds me with each day. This season of little ones is hard; it is trying; it brings to light my sinfulness and unworthiness. But I can rejoice because I see God’s grace sustaining us. I see His ever-new mercies given for each day. I see His worthiness, His strength, His love–that I don’t deserve.

I want to remember the way Cooper’s face turns into a beaming smile when he sees me. The way his smile makes me feel like the best mama in the world.

I want to remember Silas’s words. His “Thank you, Mommy. So welcome;” his explanations in toddler language about his world {complete with hand motions}.

I want to remember Stephen’s acts of selflessness. This giving of himself for his wife and babies. The dishes, the home repairs, the long hours at work, the commuting in heavy traffic, the baths, the cuddling, the playing, the kissing.

I want to remember Cooper’s hands–dimples where pointed knuckles will one day be, crinkled palms, thumb wrinkles. His hands that curl and grasp at me.

I want to remember Silas’s love of life. His pride over small accomplishments–putting the dirty spoon in the sink, finding a lost toy, jumping from ottoman to couch. His “I got it!” exclamations.

I want to remember Stephen’s lullaby singing. His voice in the night singing “Jesus Loves Me” by a little boy’s bed.

I want to remember Cooper’s falling-asleep faces. The smiles, the frowns, the worried brows, the eyes rolling back in his head.

I want to remember Silas’s goggles on his pixie face. The way they contort his eyes and cheeks.

I want to remember Stephen’s bedtime story reading. His animated voices for each character and expressiveness–just for our babies.

I want to remember Cooper’s bobbing head  on my shoulder at night.

I want to remember Silas’ bowing to pray before bed.

I want to remember Stephen saying “I love you” unexpectedly.

I want to remember this feeling of motherhood. That somehow these tiny people belong to me, and I love them fiercely.

These happy, hard days are speeding by me ever so fast. Chronicling them, celebrating them on this blog helps me tuck little memories away in my heart. Memories I can pull out again and recount the ways God loves me.